What’s A Man To Do?

I wonder if the mucky mucks at Avon read Beauty Dish, “true underground adventures of an Avon lady.” If they read it today they’ll see that men have a hard time navigating Avon.com.

My Turkish friend, Ulak, called me early this morning.
“Birdie! I need more of that cologne!” His voice sounded husky, swollen with sleep. “The Avon. Please, Birdie. I need it now. The RPM cologne.”
I inhaled, watched my youngest son swallow oatmeal, remembered how Ulak used cologne under his arms in place of deodorant.
“Ulak, just order it online. If you input my telephone number at checkout I’ll get the credit. You’ll probably get it quicker than if you get it through me as my order went in last night.”
I should have known better. Ulak called back ten minutes later, a Turkish tornado of stress and confusion.
“Birdie. Have you been to this Avon.com site? Have you? This is no place for a man. I can not find any section for men. I do not wish to look at all the items for women.”
I sighed, accused Ulak of exaggerating, of morning fuzz, of tired eyes. I clicked over to the site myself, Ulak’s breath in my ear, and blinked with surprise.
“Wow, Ulak. You’re right. I never noticed this before. No section for men.”
I stared at the home page, at Salma’s pristine celebrity smile, clicked over to “online shopping” only to be greeted with Avon’s top female goodies, no link for a man, no shaving cream or soap-on-a-rope or cologne icon to make a guy feel at home.
Well damn, Avon. What’s up with that?



About David Burn

I wrote my first ad for a political candidate when I was 17 years old. She won her race and I felt the seductive power of advertising for the first time. Today—after working for seven agencies in five states—I am head of brand strategy and creative at Bonehook in Portland, Oregon.