The Bald Midget And The Furniture Store Owner’s Daughter

The spot opens at the counter of a pizza place. Behind the counter is a middle-aged worker. The customer, a bald midget, stands in front of the counter, ready to order. He is in a hurry.
CUSTOMER: “Quick! What makes Pizza Pan pizza so unique?”
WORKER: (He spends 20 seconds going on about fresh dough, fresh ingredients, fast delivery, etc.) “Did ya get all that?”
CUSTOMER: (Holding a cell phone) “Oh, I’m sorry. I was on the phone.”
(He is then hit in the face with a cream pie.)

So memorable, and so bad. Such is the nature of local advertising. Does it have a future in our fragmented media world? It’s the focus of my new column on Talent Zoo.

About Dan Goldgeier

Dan Goldgeier is a Seattle-based freelance copywriter with experience at advertising agencies across the U.S. He is a graduate of the Creative Circus ad school, and currently teaches at Seattle's School of Visual Concepts. Dan is also a columnist for and the author of View From The Cheap Seats and Killer Executions and Scrubbed Decks.