Not The First Impression A Black Turtleneck Wearer Wants

George Parker had what it took to sit through the Howard Draft video, now archived on You Tube. At first, I could not do it. I clicked away, but then George’s zeal for the subject brought me back.

Hey, has anyone had the balls to go to the “Draft FCB Group Employee Microsite” and sit through a stomach churning diatribe from new “Emperor of the known fucking Universe” Howard Draft? For an outfit that’s supposed to be on top of new and alternative media, this is a pathetic piece of shit. It opens with a really cheesy piece of stock music, then we suffer though several minutes of a tight head shot of Emperor Howard talking shit in front of a bookshelf stuffed with ten cent remainders from that table outside your local Barnes & Noble. Unfortunately, it’s obvious from the fact that his fucking eyeline is at least ten inches above the camera that he’s reading this “spontaneous” crap from a tele-prompter. Jesus, it sticks out more than the fucking transmitter that was duct taped up the back of Bush’s jacket in the Presidential debate!

It is bad. Draft knew the merger was coming. Why not have an ambitious creative team–one dying to do TV–give it a go?

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About David Burn

I wrote my first ad for a political candidate when I was 17 years old. She won her race and I felt the seductive power of advertising for the first time. Today—after working for seven agencies in five states—I am head of brand strategy and creative at Bonehook in Portland, Oregon.