The Debut Of Freaky Fritos

With the recent trend of wholesome snack foods reaching “truly ridiculous proportions,” Frito-Lay announced Monday that it would, against its better judgment, roll out a new line of healthy fruit-and-vegetable-based chips next February.
“Here,” said Frito-Lay CEO Al Carey as he disgustedly tossed a bag of the company’s new Flat Earth-brand snack crisps onto the lectern during a meeting with shareholders and members of the press. “Here’s some shit that’s made from beets. I hope you’re all happy now that you have your precious beet chips with the recommended daily serving of fruit, or vegetables, or whatever the hell a ‘beet’ is.”
Frito-Lay spokeswoman Lisa Greeley, who said that the company made a commitment in 2004 to develop a healthier line of snacks but “never thought it would actually come to this,” described the Flat Earth brand as “tailor-made for the small, vocal minority of health-conscious consumers who apparently can’t just be content with salads, bananas, apples, or any of the literally thousands of fruits and vegetables already widely available.”
[via The Onion]

About David Burn

Co-founder and editor of AdPulp. I wrote my first ad for a political candidate when I was 17 years old. She won her race and I felt the seductive power of advertising for the first time. I worked for seven agencies in five states before launching my own practice in 2009. Today, I am head of brand strategy and creative at Bonehook in Portland, Oregon.