The Bald Midget And The Furniture Store Owner’s Daughter

The spot opens at the counter of a pizza place. Behind the counter is a middle-aged worker. The customer, a bald midget, stands in front of the counter, ready to order. He is in a hurry.
CUSTOMER: “Quick! What makes Pizza Pan pizza so unique?”
WORKER: (He spends 20 seconds going on about fresh dough, fresh ingredients, fast delivery, etc.) “Did ya get all that?”
CUSTOMER: (Holding a cell phone) “Oh, I’m sorry. I was on the phone.”
(He is then hit in the face with a cream pie.)

So memorable, and so bad. Such is the nature of local advertising. Does it have a future in our fragmented media world? It’s the focus of my new column on Talent Zoo.

About Dan Goldgeier

Blogging on AdPulp since 2005, Dan Goldgeier is a Seattle-based freelance copywriter with experience at advertising agencies across the U.S. He is a graduate of the Creative Circus ad school, and currently teaches at Seattle's School of Visual Concepts. In addition, he is a regular columnist for Dan published the best of his columns in a book entitled View From The Cheap Seats: A Broader Look at Advertising, Marketing, Branding, Global Politics, Office Politics, Sexual Politics, and Getting Drunk During a Job Interview. Look for it on Amazon in paperback and e-book editions.


  1. Nice article, Mr. G.
    One of the things left unsaid is how local media reps undermine agency types at every turn.
    “Why waste your money on an agency? We’ll produce your spot (or ad) for FREE!”