OnStar’s Radio Spots

First, I don’t listen to much radio these days – a fortunate side effect of a 7 minute commute – but it seems that nearly every single day I manage to be in the car at the right time to hear an OnStar spot.
These are the spots using the original audio (or perhaps recreated?) from previous OnStar emergency calls; running the gamut from “Can you get me a phone number,” to “I’ve locked my keys in the car,” to “I’ve been in an accident, am bleeding profusely, and unless help gets here soon I’m likely to be dead in moments.”
The operators at OnStar are typically spot on for their reactions to calls, but seem to have absolute inability to end one of these calls gracefully. The following quotes are reconstructed from memory and may not be the exact dialog in the spot.
From the guy trying to reach his relative when phone lines are out, and Onstar delivers:
operator: “Is there anything else we can help you with?”
caller (thick New England Accent): “Thank you so much, You’re beautiful OnStar”
operator: “You’re beautiful too.”
Note to operator: Don’t try and pull of the accent when you probably stuck in a callcenter somewhere in the accent free midwest.
Or the operator responding the lady in car accident who is bleeding heavily:
Operator: “The ambulance has arrived is there anything else we can do?”
caller: “No.”
Operator: “Thank you for calling OnStar, we’re there when you need us.”
Note I find the eeriness overcoming as I picture the lady laying there bleeding, while the operator repeats the tagline to her. Kind of like a “No shit, I just had an accident and you were there for me, why do you insist on repeating the obvious to me while I lay here in pain?” There is just something wrong with that picture.
Maybe I’m just twisted, but then again, it is a slow-news Monday.
What’s your favorite OnStar spot?

About Shawn Hartley

Creative technologist by day. Bowling instructor at night. VP at Corporate 3 Design in Omaha. Proud father and husband.