New Device Converts Nebulous Energy Into Tangible Results

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TELSTAR LOGISTICS UNVEILS MODEL 442 SHAREHOLDER VALUE GENERATOR
Designed to provide stable, seamless solutions in any environment, the Shareholder Value Generator converts hybrid media energy into robust and scalable output. The impactful results quickly pay off where it matters most — on the customer’s bottom line.
Patents pending. NSFW. Batteries sold separately.
[via OnSquared]

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About David Burn

Native Nebraskan seeking the perfect pale ale in the Pacific Northwest. Copywriter and brand strategist at Bonehook. Co-founder and editor of AdPulp.