New Device Converts Nebulous Energy Into Tangible Results

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TELSTAR LOGISTICS UNVEILS MODEL 442 SHAREHOLDER VALUE GENERATOR
Designed to provide stable, seamless solutions in any environment, the Shareholder Value Generator converts hybrid media energy into robust and scalable output. The impactful results quickly pay off where it matters most — on the customer’s bottom line.
Patents pending. NSFW. Batteries sold separately.
[via OnSquared]

About David Burn

I wrote my first ad for a political candidate when I was 17 years old. She won her race and I felt the seductive power of advertising for the first time. Today—after working for seven agencies in five states—I am head of brand strategy and creative direction at Bonehook in Portland, Oregon.